Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
