i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
