Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
