He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
