I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
