is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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