North Korea, Best Korea!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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