mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
They took my balls.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
