Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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