so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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