Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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