i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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