I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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