how can u be prego again
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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