I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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