I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
