Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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