is your mom at the bar?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
