You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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