every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I currently don't understand fingers.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
