Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize