I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
