If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Who died my cat blue again?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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