dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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