how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
