Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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