She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
