In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize