He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
