I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize