Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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