Where did you get a picture of my penis
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
