Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
