I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
people are starting to question the shark bite story
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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