dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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