walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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