I am spending my child support on dildos
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
