How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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