I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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