why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I just want to make out with him forever
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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