3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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