i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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