rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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