:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize