Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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