life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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