Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
