Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
