I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
