It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
