I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
how drunk are you?
Several
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
