dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
