I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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