so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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