I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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