help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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