she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
