The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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