I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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