i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
