Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
