I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
