Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
