saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
