You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
