Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
