Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
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