dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
