My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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