Sry I called you an 8
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Best friends brother. Beat that.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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