Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
